Monday 30 December 2013

Mirror mirror on the wall who is the most loyal of them all?


Matt Le ‘God’ Tissier 

News Photo: 1st April 1990 P F A Awards in…

Remember that kid…Buck teeth. Funny looking. A dog eared blazer. A packet of Walkers salt n’ vinegar crisps in one hand. There was a look of boredom across his face as other boys ran around like headless chicken, kicking the ball back and forth, as he continued to stuff his mouth. Then the ball came flying towards him. He took a step back to instantly control the ball on his chest. As the ball fell to the ground he wrapped his left foot through it to send it dipping into the goal, which of course was made from two rusty bins full of school lunch detritus. He then continued eating his crisps.      

That boy became Matt Le Tissier. The last of his kind. Of the bygone era.  A non-athletic, incredibly talented footballer. A cultural left foot. A wand of a right foot. He signed for Southampton as a YTS. He played for 16 seasons, 443 games and scored 161 goals. All of which could have won goal of the season. He was the first midfielder to pass a 100 premier league goals. Yet, in all those seasons, Southampton flirted ominously with relegation but never went down thanks to Matt loitering with intent. Every “top” club coveted him: Man United, Tottenham, Arsenal, Liverpool. But he didn’t leave. He remained loyal. He became Le God. A hero to the neutral fans. A deity to fat kids with vivid oozing cheese induced dreams. A saint at The Dell.  

Ryan Giggs *

   

Yes, he is 40 years old. Yes, he played for Man United his whole career. Yes, he is nearing 1000 games. Yes, he is rightfully a club legend. But is he loyal like Le Tissier? Would Giggs have played his whole career at Southampton…? Hence the *. Playing for the best club in the country, who pay all the money you ever wished, and delivers you trophy after trophy…is that loyalty? Yes and No. It’s like having the perfect wife and never cheating on her…Is that surprising, obviously Giggs would disagree. It was worth cheating. So his wife wasn’t perfect, but Man United were. So yes well done Giggs. We applaud you. Very loyal. A gent.   

Stevie G 


Loyalty. This man has it written all over his face. Look at it. Covered in wrinkles shaped by sleepless nights, hope and the what if's...He didn’t have the best club. If we continue the analogy. He had the wife who had fallen off the wagon. Once the prettiest in town, now her age had caught up with her. She was mutton dressed as lamb. She was Liverpool circa 1997 onwards.

Yet through all this, and despite admiring looks from Chelsea, and a cheeky flash of leg from Man United he stuck with the wife. Through the AA meetings, the verbal abuse, the knowledge that disappointment was always one minute away from full time. Why? Cause he bloody loved her! He was Liverpool through and through. And in 2005 he was rewarded. A European Cup. Now only a premier league title awaits…And no one deserves it more for what they’ve sacrificed.

The Back Four


Loyalty is a rare thing. So when 4 come along at the same time you’d be crazy not to include them on a list of all things loyal. Those 4 also happened to form, in my opinion, the greatest defensive line of all time. Golden like Fort Knox. And they showed loyalty to their club, AC Milan. Loyalty to each other. Loyalty to their father figure coach, Arrigo Sacchi. They won it all at domestic and European level. They were the foundation of the last team ever to retain the European Cup, in 1989 & 1990. That is how special those 4 footballers were. All 4 are club legends. Will it ever happen again? Well, have you ever seen the same bus turn up 4 times in a minute…? Not any bus. I’m talking about the most reliable bus in your wildest dreams (It is worth pointing out I like buses and parking the bus especially, which is what these specialised in.) The answer is NO! It will never happen again. So take a bow Franco Baresi, Alessandro Costacurta, Mauro Tassotti and Paulo Maldini. 

Honourable Mentions 



Within the Italian league it’s not uncommon to see players throughout their careers play for AC MiIan, Inter Milan, Juventus, Lazio and Roma. They move around with much freedom. Merry go round and round they go. Players with multiple big clubs include Andres Pirlo, Christian Vieri, Mario Balotelli and Roberto Baggio.

However, there are times when the Italian player is a forever present force. Loved by the club like a son. He, wide eyed and tearful sees his mothering team. A mama’s boy they be…Headlining this group of mama’s boy who just can't cut their ties are Francesco Totti & Alessandro Del Piero. Such-a-good-a-boys-don-na-be-a-shy-come-a-give-a-your-mama-a-hug.         

Saturday 14 December 2013

The Obituary Of Manchester United: A Lure Of Ginger



Like the Roman Empire the fall of Manchester United will be studied for centuries to come. The decline occurred not when David Moyes, seen as an Incompetent Caesar took charge, but rather in the era of Sir Alex Ferguson. However, in the decade that followed he would be referred to as Alex the Bungling.

The Beginning Of The End – The Middle.

Alex the Bungling allowed his ego to destroy the greatest United midfield, which he’d forged from bright-eyed youth. Those purged included Beckham, for wearing a skirt. Keane for paranoid fear of a threat to his leadership. Them and many more (Stam, Ruud et al) chased and hounded into the gulags until only the YES men remained. Having purged he replaced with inferior quality. Between 2005-12 only two central midfielders were signed: Owen Hargreaves and Michael Carrick. 

Youth however was available. Most prominently in Ravel Morrison and Paul Pogba, however when the opportunity arose, the Emperor didn’t like his new clothes. Instead he panicked, shuffled and burrowed through his wardrobe, where he found his most favourite and comfiest of jumpers. However, once vibrant, now the ginger had faded and tired. The Emperor, who had once backed youth, no longer had his faith, and the youth players no longer trusted him for opportunities. Paul Pogba now played for the Old Lady, and won awards year after year, and a Ballon D'or in 2016 for guiding Juventus to Champions League glory. Ravel Morrison went to West Ham and played himself into the England squad and shone brightest in an ultimately hot, humid and humiliating campaign in Brazil 2014.

Sperm War

Ego. Alex Ferguson had lots of that. So did J.P McManus and John Magnier. They also had a 28.8% stake in the Red Devils. Rock of Gibraltar, worth £3.5 billion in stud rights, was the sperm both parties yearned for. The war started in 2004. And in a complete coincidence, The Irish Horse Mafia, sold their shares to Malcolm Glazer in 2005. Would they have been so premature in selling their shares if the sperm war hadn’t turned sour? Ferguson claimed victory. His ego satisfied. But at what cost? Glazer sucked £21 million a year out of the Stretford End in interest to service the debt alone. The Theatre of Dreams lost its leading man: Ronaldo. Oh how they cried when once they cheered. Yet, Ferguson never questioned the Glazer's business model. Again, in times of desperation, it was the lure of ginger where Ferguson found comfort and solace.

The Abdication

Alex the Bungling surprised no one with his retirement 12 years after his first attempt. What did startle was he didn't u-turn. Historians in decades to come debated how it could have all been so different if he'd gone in 2001. The Glazers would never have been able to knock on the Old Trafford door to find a semi coherent pensioner ready to be shafted with commissions on the commissions. Youth players would have been blooded rather than mistrusted as Alex looked for instant success before the end came...And then it did, and Alex the Bungling had hand picked his successor - David Moyes. In the moment of pending crisis his retirement would bring he went for his security blanket. Yes, David Moyes is ginger! Coincidence? COINCIDENCE. Rightly or wrongly Alex the Bungling trusted ginger men. This was irrefutable fact.

Complete Destruction

Players purged. Youth players discarded. Financial security forsaken. Champions League qualification missed. Top players left in the summer of discontent. Their replacements a downgrade. Financial implosion followed.     

Sunday 8 December 2013

Copywriter at work

At NOW TV I worked in a social media team. Below are links to samples of my work

A sample of my NOW TV SPORT blogs

http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Five-things-we-learned-this-weekend/ba-p/166752
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Darts-is-a-sport/ba-p/146852
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Come-All-Ye-Faithful/ba-p/161778
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Tonight-s-UCL-Action/ba-p/139442
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Kinder-Surprise-England-s-interesting-Ashes-squad/ba-p/134452
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Preview-Viktoria-Plzen-v-Man-City/ba-p/132976
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/The-Football-League-is-Back/ba-p/122410

Cricket Blogs

http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/The-Ashes-3rd-Test-Preview/ba-p/121554
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Slow-is-as-deadly-as-fast/ba-p/112774
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Ashes-Debuts/ba-p/116460
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Fourth-Ashes-Test-How-To-Put-a-Smile-on-Aussie-Faces/ba-p/124262
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/The-Ashes-5th-Test-Preview/ba-p/126896


A Sample of My Conceptual Copy: 

a) The Cultural Ashes Campaign (blogs)

http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/The-Cultural-Ashes-First-Test-Food/ba-p/116098
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/The-Cultural-Ashes-Second-Test-Drinks/ba-p/118068
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/The-Cultural-Ashes-Third-Test-Music/ba-p/122002
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/The-Cultural-Ashes-Fourth-Test-TV-amp-Film/ba-p/124918
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/The-Cultural-Ashes-Fifth-Test-Quirks/ba-p/127414

b) Five things we learned from the weekend

http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/Five-things-we-learned-this-weekend/ba-p/166752
http://community.nowtv.com/t5/Sports-blog/bg-p/sports_blog

c) Christmas Cracker RT Campaign

https://twitter.com/NOWTVSport/status/415799428352847872
https://twitter.com/NOWTVSport/status/415814179766149120
https://twitter.com/NOWTVSport/status/415902390580428801

A sample of my Facebook Posts

Average shares across all NOW TV Sport Facebook posts is 3.

https://www.facebook.com/nowtv/posts/532993516797613

https://www.facebook.com/nowtv/posts/536758839754414

 
A sample of my Tweets

Average RT across NOW TV Sport is between 0-5 across.

https://twitter.com/NOWTVSport/status/411817600214401024
https://twitter.com/NOWTVSport/status/409334215474307072
https://twitter.com/NOWTVSport/status/382121523332808704
https://twitter.com/NOWTVSport/status/363603719633788928






Thursday 5 December 2013

An Ant's Life...



Sniff. Move forward. Wobble head. Move forward. Look left. Look right. Shake antennae in the air. Two front legs up, oh yeah.

‘No joy?’
 
‘Nothing over there.’

Sniff. Move forward. Wobble head. Move forward. Look left. Look right. Shake antennae in the air. Two front legs up, oh yeah.

‘Sugar!’
 
‘Where?’

‘Follow me.’

‘Wait, we need some tunes.’



‘Let’s go!’

March. March. March.
                                    March. March. March.
March. March. March.  
March. March. March.  
March. March. March.                  
                                    March. March. March.   
March. March. March.  
                                    March. March. March.  
March. March. March.  

Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Dab. Fab. Fab. Fab. Fab. Fab. Fab.

'I'm buzzing! Does it look like I'm gurning?'

'Stay here. Back in 5, yeah? I'll go get the rest.'

'Fuck yeah!!!'

Thursday 10 October 2013

Spilling from today!

Welcome to my blog, coolspillings. Being cool since 1980...Spilling from today! 

 So what is a spill?
 
1. To knock over a liquid of some sort
2. To tell everything
3. To fall
4. To do poorly
This blog will be dedicated to me doing all of the above!